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Sex for the Glory of God; 1 Corinthians 7:2
Introductory thought on the biblical view of sex in marriage [Cont.]
6) What we learn from the previous point is that sex is designed for the enjoyment and the celebration of marriage. Therefore, sexual promiscuity outside of marriage destroys the capacity for love. That is because sex outside of marriage emphasizes self-gratification and personal pleasure over an emphasis on the other person. Sex was not designed to satisfy sex lust, overactive hormones or an intensified libido. Sex was designed for the celebration of a union between a man and a woman. It is is the consequence of a soul rapport, not the cause of a soul rapport. When you put those in reverse it is going to have a negative effect on the development of a relationship and capacity for love.
7) The capacity for love is related to the capacity to give, the opposite of self-centredness or arrogance. Love involves sacrifice and the person who is not able to give of himself and be concerned about someone else and their pleasure is someone who cannot love. In any relationship the more self-absorbed someone is the less able they are to love.
8) Sexual intimacy and pleasure and maturity in a sexual relationship is directly related to soul intimacy. You have to have soul intimacy and soul rapport first, and then you will develop true sexual intimacy as designed by God, and then that pleasure and maturity in the sex relationship will be enhanced. But it all starts with a soul relationship.
9) We have to remember that the male is designed to initiate and to lead. This is why in the New Testament it is the man who is commanded to love. Notice the woman is not commanded to love, she is commanded to respect her husband. Respect is a response term for his leadership.
10) On the other hand, the woman is designed to respond and she is either going to respond to the man's humility and his grace oriented leadership and love or she is going to react to his self-centredness. In the dynamics of any relationship you have these things going on all the time because one or the other is operating on the sin nature and the other isn't and that is where you have to understand in Christian marriage the role and function of forgiveness and the role and function of forget it.
Those are just some introductory comments on marriage and we have to understand that what Paul is describing here is something that runs counter to what was going on in the normal culture. There is a mutuality here that is completely foreign to Greek culture and any pagan thinking. It is a mutuality in the marriage relationship, it is not just a top-down authority structure.